Zazie-Doo
by Joydrop
Summary: The stupidest Trigun fic. Ever. Rated R for language, Midvalley in a dress and general weirdness. And all of the chapters are finally up! Enjoy the show.
1. Pea Soup and Black Cats

quick spoiler note: Ever wonder why in the episode where the GHGs are all introduced Chapel isn't given a bizarre screen angle? And is, in fact, missing? Well, there is a reason. A big spoiling one. So if you don't know exactly _who_ Chapel is, don't read this fic (it's not like you'll be missing much, trust me).  
  
quick disclaimer: This, kids, is why you don't stay up until 3 in the morning drinking cherry 7'UP and listening to a song called 'Sweet, Sweet Baby - The Moo-Moo Mix' with Scooby-Doo muted on your TV. All characters, and all characters parodied, belong to their respective creators a.k.a. Not Me. I'm also a more familiar with the anime than the manga (only 2 vols of it isn't giving me much info....) of Trigun, just so ya know. I heard some weird thing about Zazie and bugs in the manga... squick... er, oh right, I have a fic after all this ranting....  
  
.... and dear frickin' God I suck at song parodies. Oy. This ain't gonna be purdy.  
  
Anyways, enjoy! (well, grin and pretend you're enjoying it, okay? my ego is a fragile thing)  
  
---  
  
"I am NOT wearing that stupid dog outfit!"  
  
"Don't complain. At least it's better than this... this... this dress..."  
  
"It is weird to see you in a dr--"  
  
"I don't mean the dress itself you asshole. I'm used to that. I mean this colour! Purple?! PURPLE?!"  
  
"I, personally, think it's a vast improvement from your usual pink garb."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
*sigh* "Why are we doing this again?"  
  
"Because it is His will."  
  
"Well 'He' has a really fucked up sense of humo--ooowwww!!"  
  
"You will not speak of Him in such a tone again, understood?"  
  
"Y-Yes...."  
  
"Good. Now, get into your places before I turn this into a real horror movie."  
  
"And that's a really cheesy li--owww! Shit, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"  
  
"Hmph. Now go."  
  
"H-Hey, my body is moving all by itself!"  
  
"Stop it! For the love of God!"  
  
"Nooo, I don't wanna be in this stupid thing!"  
  
*cue the ominous evil laughter with the neato echo effect*  
  
*echo... echo... echo...*  
  
"Dammit Legato, turn that thing off already."  
  
---  
  
Zazie-Sazie-Doo, where are you? We got some people to kill now  
Zazie-Sazie-Doo, where are you? We need some freakishness from you now  
  
Come on Zazie-Doo, I see you... pretending you miss your mother  
But you're not fooling me, cause I can see, the way you murder 'n plunder  
  
You know we got an outlaw to crack, so Zazie Doo be ready for your big pity act  
{Zazie Doo}Uh-uh Uh-uh  
Don't hold back!  
And Zazie Doo if you come through  
you're going to have yourself a Zazie Snack!  
That's a fact!  
  
Zazie-Sazie-Doo, here are you, you're young and you're a villain  
If we can count on you, Zazie Doo, I know we'll have a good time killin'  
  
---  
  
*and it starts! -- the scene is a dark and mysterious black van bumping along a matching dark and mysterious road, while groovy seventies music plays in the background. Inside the van, a blue haired man is wearing a white sweater, orange scarf and amazingly tacky blue bellbottoms while driving. Next to him is a lovely (er...), young (er...) man (er.... oh wait) in a short purple dress and bright orange wig -- _almost_ as orange as the outfit worn by the woman to his other side. In the back of the van, a Wolf and a child dressed as a dog battle over noodles. This continues in almost utter silence until the woman in orange is sharply elbowed.*  
  
{Dominique} Ow, jackass.  
  
*Legato glares*  
  
{Dominique} Er... I mean... Jeepers Daphne, it sure is taking a long way to your whore house.  
  
{Midvalley} *flatly* I know Velma. Oh, turn up here, Fred. I know a shortcut.  
  
*"Fred" does so and they turn onto another dirt road which is shrouded in heavy, heavy fog, despite the fact that there's clear weather on almost every other road in the state.*  
  
{Legato} I can hardly see the road. Some short-cut.  
  
{Dominique} [I thought HE was the one who was so insistent that we stick to script.] Um.... Golly, this fog is like pea soup!  
  
{Wolfwood} Soup?  
  
{Zazie} Pea?  
  
*the two proceed to drool while Dominique sweatdrops slightly*  
  
{Dominique} Chow hounds. [Freaks.]  
  
*suddenly, a black cat seemingly pops up out of nowhere in front of the van*  
  
{Midvalley} *still flatly* Look out Fred.  
  
*Legato swerves sharply to avoid the cat and the two passengers in the back yelp as they're thrown against the wall*  
  
{Wolfwood} [Maybe a seat belt would've been a good idea after all...]  
  
*the black van skids along, seemingly out of control, until it hits a relatively flat rock which somehow causes one of the back tires to completely blow out. Damn the luck. The van finally stops and the scene changes back to the inside of the van*  
  
*in the back of the van, Wolfwood's upper body is poking out from underneath a green blanket, brought along for who knows what reason, while Zazie's rear complete with wire dog tail sticks up from the opposite end*  
  
{Wolfwood} *groans* Jesus, what a ride. You okay, Zaz?  
  
{Zazie} *muffled* Reah.  
  
*in the front of the van, Midvalley has somehow ended up in an upside down position, legs in pink stockings flailing.*  
  
{Midvalley} Somebody, help me dammit!  
  
{Legato} Hold on, Daphne, I'll help you *attempting to grab Midvalley in various... ahem... places while the sax player smacks at his hands*  
  
{Dominique} *with a hand over one eye* Has anyone seen my Demon's Eye? I can't find my Demon's Eye!  
  
*in the back of the van, Wolfwood has freed himself from the blanket and stretches, cracking his neck. Pausing, he looks down at the blanket where Zazie remains, huddled*  
  
{Wolfwood} Come on out of there, Zaz.  
  
{Legato} *looks over his shoulder at Wolfwood* Come on, Chapel. I think we've got a flat tire. You're coming to help me fix it.  
  
{Wolfwood} Hell.... *grumbles and looks back at the blanket again* Ya got room for me under there, Zaz?  
  
{Dominique} *feeling under her chair* Has anyone seen my Demon's Eye?  
  
{Wolfwood} Can I at least grab a sandwich before I go out there? Being in a car crash makes a guy hungry!  
  
{Legato} We weren't in a crash, I simply swerved to avoid hitting a black cat. You know how fond He is of cats.  
  
{Wolfwood} .... Right. Say Velma, would you pass me one of those sandwiches from up there?  
  
*Zazie immediately hops up from underneath the blanket at the mention of food and just happens to have Dominique's Demon's Eye over one of his own eyes*  
  
{Zazie} Randwich?  
  
{Dominique} *twitches in annoyance* I can't get anybody anything until I find my Demon's Eye. It's far more important than your damn stomach.  
  
{Zazie} Hm.... *takes the eye patch off and taps Dominique on the shoulder. She turns and he places it back on her face. She blinks for a moment before _almost_ smiling and tossing a sandwich over to Zazie who catches the entire thing in his mouth and chews happily*  
  
{Dominique} Thank-you, Zazie.  
  
{Wolfwood} Hey! That was my sandwich!  
  
*Zazie swallows the sandwich before giggling stupidly at Wolfwood -- it quickly turns into an insane cackle*  
  
{Wolfwood} *sweatdrops* [I hope that's Legato controlling him again or something.... weird kid.] Very funny. Very funny.  
  
{Legato} Enough about the sandwich. It was mine to begin with and it is pointless to argue about something so trivial when the End is so near. Now, let's get this tire fixed so we can get going.  
  
*Wolfwood sweatdrops again and turns, opening the backdoor of the van. As he does, the black cat from earlier is seen, grinning wickedly. Wolfwood, a bit surprised by an evilly grinning cat, jumps backwards and into Zazie's arms. Shotakon demons amongst us howl in glee*  
  
{Wolfwood} What the hel--er, uh, I mean--Zoinks!  
  
{Black Cat} Niauuu. Niau! Niaaaau! Niaaau niaaau myrrrrrr. Niau.  
  
{Zazie} Eh?! Rady?!  
  
{Black Cat} NIAU! Myrrr myrrr niau. Niau niau. Niau auauaua!  
  
{Legato} If you say so.  
  
{Black Cat} Niau niau niaaau. Niau. Nia-Nia.  
  
*a large bank of fog suddenly rolls in over the cat and as it moves away, the cat is gone. Oooo*  
  
{Wolfwood} ..... *looks at Zazie and then Legato* You two feel like telling the rest of us what the hell just happened?  
  
{Legato} *waves a hand dismissively* It said that the ghost of a woman dead for over a hundred years has been appearing recently, singing an strange yet somehow uplifting song.   
  
{Midvalley} Speaking of strange, how did that cat just vanish?  
  
{Wolfwood} I don't know but he's got the right idea. Let's get the hell out of here.  
  
{Legato} We can't leave until we fix the flat tire.  
  
{Wolfwood} There's no way I'm going out there with any weird ghost chick around. You can just forget it!  
  
*Legato smirks slightly and gets that Evil Glint(tm) to his already chilling eyes. Wolfwood realizes quickly that running into a singing dead girl is far better than a smirking alive psycho and hurriedly changes the tire himself. The black van then pulls away, continuing along it's original course. After a few minutes, they pull up into a long driveway where a two story house is waiting for them, shrouded thickly in the fog that seems to be stalking our group. A moon with a giant crater in it rests peacefully above the house, bathing it an almost unworldly white light*  
  
{Dominique} Boy, your whore house sure is creepy.  
  
{Midvalley} You mean 'classy'.  
  
{Dominique} No, I mean creepy. Damn creepy. *she glances over her shoulder to the two huddled in the back* What do you guys think?  
  
{Wolfwood} Damn, damn creepy.  
  
{Zazie} Uh-huh!  
  
{Dominique} Ha. *she smirks victoriously at Midvalley who's sulking now* Fred, do you think there was any truth to what the black cat was meowing?  
  
{Legato} I don't know, but I have a feeling that we are going to find out.  
  
{Wolfwood} I was afraid he was going to say that.  
  
*Wolfwood opens the back door of the van again and peeks outside with Zazie plastered to his back like a second skin. Veeeery carefully, Wolfwood steps out of the van, tip toeing about with Zazie still close to him. Off screen, a frog lets out a loud croak, which cause the already jittery and slightly freaky looking Zazie to jump up and cling to Wolfwood's head*  
  
{Zazie} Rommy!  
  
{Wolfwood} Mmmf, mey fway he rundf!  
  
*Wolfwood, being blinded temporarily by his slightly oversized new headgear, stumbles about, flailing his arms wildly before crashing into the rest of the gang who just got out of the van. Cue the cheesy laugh track*  
  
{Wolfwood} *muffled* This really sucks--owww!!  
  
*after a few moments of torture from Legato, the group all pry themselves out of the ground and head for the house*  
  
---  
  
- end chapter one  
  
dun dun DUN!!! What will happen to our heroes (?) next?! Find out in the next chapter of the always exciting, always corny, always bizarre -- Zazie-Doo!  
  
{Zazie} Zazie-Sazie-Doooo!!  
  
{Dominique} Did someone put some crack in your cornflakes or what, kid? 


	2. 

random author thought: Why do I insist on calling Legato, Midvalley and Dominique by their Scooby names yet refer to Zazie and Wolfwood by their GHG names? Symbolism? It just sounds cool? I'm a moron? All this will be answered in this chapter!  
  
.... well, maybe not.  
  
---  
  
*and it continues! -- the gang, a.k.a. the unlucky Legato, Midvalley, Dominique, Chapel and Zazie are all trudging up the long driveway to Midvalley's creepy whore house. Why Legato didn't just park closer is a mystery*  
  
{Midvalley} Dammit, my feet are killing me.  
  
{Dominique} *smirk* It's because of those ugly dress shoes.  
  
{Midvalley} Legato, do I really have to wea.... *he trails off and shuts up at Legato's glare*  
  
*they continue to trudge along in silence now until a Shadowy Figure suddenly steps out from behind some trees along the driveway*  
  
{Shadowy Figure} What are you doing out here?!  
  
{Zazie} IT'S THE CAT!!! *jumps onto Wolfwood's head again*  
  
{Wolfwood} Furken mey mmf fed rundt!  
  
{Shadowy Figure} *sweatdrops* Uh... who are you guys?  
  
{Dominique} That's a good question. Who are you?  
  
{Shadowy Figure} Hey, I asked first!  
  
{Midvalley} You wouldn't happen to be one of my whores, would you?  
  
{Shadowy Figure} No! Freak.  
  
{Legato} My name is Fred, this is Daphne and this is Velma. The two chickens over there *motions to Wolfwood and Zazie* are Chapel and Zazie-Doo.  
  
{Midvalley} *whispering* Hey... how come you call those two by their Gung-Ho-Guns names but not the rest of us?  
  
{Legato} It is His will.  
  
{Midvalley} Oh.... [Convenient excuse.]  
  
{Shadowy Figure} *cough* Um, excuse me....  
  
{Midvalley} Oh yeah, you didn't introduce yourself yet.  
  
{Shadowy Figure} Can I now?  
  
{Legato} Of course.  
  
{Shadowy Figure} Great! *he finally steps out of the shadows, revealing himself to be a tall blonde man in a gray shirt and black pants. Small yellow glasses rest on his nose and he looks badly in need of a hair cut and a shave* My name is Eriks. *a small text bubble with the words "Not Vash" in it pops up next to him*  
  
{Midvalley} Eriks? That's not a very good whore name.  
  
{Eriks} Because I'm not a whore, you hornfreak!!  
  
{Wolfwood} *having finally pried Zazie off his face, he takes a good look at Eriks* Hey, you look kind of familiar.  
  
{Eriks} I hear that a lot.  
  
{Wolfwood} .... are you sure you're not a whore?  
  
{Eriks} I'm sure!! What kind of priest are you?!  
  
{Dominique} *ahems* If you're not one of Midvalley's whores, then what are you doing here?  
  
{Eriks} *calming* I came here looking for a good time myself but ended up having the bad luck to come just after all the whores left.  
  
{Midvalley} THEY LEFT?! *about to faint*  
  
{Eriks} *nods* They were all scared away by the ghost.  
  
{Zazie} Rhost?! *hops on Dominique's head this time who simply stands there and sweatdrops*  
  
{Eriks} *nods again* Yeah. Come on, I'll tell you more about it inside. *Eriks and the gang continue up the drive way and head inside the huge house. After the door closes, a small bunch of red flower petals blow by mysteriously. Creeepy..... or not*  
  
*the scene changes to the inside the house where Legato, Midvalley, Dominique and Eriks are all sitting comfortably in the living room. Wolfwood and Zazie are both in the kitchen, hunting for food*  
  
{Eriks} *explaining the situation* So you see, the whore house had to close down because the ghost scared away the visitors. They wanted sex, not the supernatural.  
  
{Midvalley} Understandable.  
  
{Eriks} Since business was so slow, a lot of the whores just left to get new jobs as plant engineers. A few of the more desperate ones stuck around but even they ended up getting frightened away by the ghost.  
  
{Dominique} Jeepers.  
  
{Legato} Why are you still here then, Eriks?  
  
{Eriks} Well, I figured if I could get rid of the ghost, all of the whores would come back. I'm kind of having trouble tracking down a mysterious singing ghost by myself though....  
  
{Midvalley} *determined* Don't worry, we'll help you!  
  
{Dominique} We will?  
  
{Legato} We will.  
  
{Dominique} [All this because "He" has a sick sense of humor and the guys want to get laid....]  
  
{Eriks} Wow, thanks! You kids are really great. *sniffles happily before sobering almost immediately and standing* Well, I'd better get going to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. Goodnight. *he stretches and stands before exiting the room*  
  
*in the kitchen....*  
  
{Wolfwood} Edible underwear, edible bra, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, cherries.... I think this is one of those packs of flavoured condoms....  
  
{Zazie} ..... Rust rive me a rerry.  
  
*in the library (why does a whore house have a library? why does Midvalley play the sax and not the trombone?), the other three seem to have decided to start their investigation already instead of getting any sleep like most people do after weird days and long road trips*  
  
{Legato} There's got to be something about the ghost in one of these books.  
  
{Dominique} Fred, look! I've found something!  
  
{Midvalley} Damn, that was quick.  
  
{Dominique} I've got an eye for this sort of thing.  
  
*in the book Dominique is holding, there's a drawing of a woman standing with her back to the viewer, long dark hair blowing in some sort of breeze. Red flower petals are scattered about and the lyrics to a song titled 'Sound Life' are written on the next page*  
  
{Dominique} See?  
  
{Midvalley} Oh how horrible!!  
  
{Dominique} Eh?  
  
{Midvalley} Those lyrics....  
  
*Dominique sweatdrops*  
  
{Legato} Does it have any information on her?  
  
{Dominique} Let's see.... *flips to the next page and reads* Rem Saverem. .... what a strange name....  
  
{Midvalley} You're one to talk.  
  
{Dominique} At least 'freak' isn't part of my name.  
  
{Midvalley} Shut up cyclops. How do you know that's the right girl anyways?  
  
{Dominique} She was on the first page of the first book I picked up. It's got to be her. *looks back at the book* Hm.... it also says that she haunts this planet and lays an ancient curse on anyone who's not "pure of heart".  
  
*somewhere, Knives sneezes*  
  
{Legato} But how did the whores get this land in the first place if Rem curses everyone?  
  
{Dominique} That's a good question, Fred. Maybe if we look some more, we'll find the answer.  
  
{Legato} Right. Let's find Chapel and Zazie. They can help us look for clues.  
  
*back in the kitchen....*  
  
{Wolfwood} Like, I've never eaten so much edible underwear in my life.  
  
---  
  
- end chapter two  
  
dun dun DUN!!! What will happen to our heroes (?) next?! Find out in the next chapter of the always exciting, always corny, always bizarre -- Zazie-Doo!  
  
{Zazie} Zazie-Sazie-Dooooo!!  
  
{Monev} I wanted a part in this too.... no one likes the guys in purple spandex. It's not fair!  
  
...  
  
author rambling: Wasn't that fun? No? Yeah, I didn't think so either. At least the plot (???) is starting to move along. Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Eh. 


	3. 

It just gets stupider and stupider.... I'd like to apologize in advance for the joke in horrible taste near the end. You'll know what I'm talking about when you see it and, in advance, I'm sorry. I couldn't find my Cherry 7'UP so I had to get my sugar crack from Cadbury Creme Eggs(tm), which seem to be about 10xs as potent, but not as funny.  
  
---  
  
*and it continues! -- even more! -- still in the kitchen, Wolfwood is teaching Zazie the fine art of how to tie cherry stems in knots.... with your tongue. Shotacon demons howl in joy once again*  
  
{Wolfwood} Now let's see what you've got.  
  
*Zazie sticks out his tongue, revealing a double knotted cherry stem. Wolfwood nods in approval before turning to look for that pack of flavoured condoms again, just in case Eriks -- or hey, even the ghost -- is a whore in disguise. You never know*  
  
*Zazie begins working on a new stem when a thin finger taps him lightly on the shoulder. His eyes grow wide and he slooowly glances over, already a little panicked*  
  
{Zazie} *spits out the stem, stuttering* Ra... Ra.... Rapel....  
  
{Wolfwood} *conveniently not turning around* What is it, Zaz? You had the last cherry and you're not getting this edible body paint I found, dammit.  
  
*the hand then grabs Zazie's shoulder and his instincts kick in*  
  
{Zazie} *chibifies and flails wildly* REEEEELLLLPPP!!!  
  
{Legato} Calm down, Zazie.  
  
{Midvalley} Or else Fred might perform the Vulcan Death Grip on you there.  
  
{Dominique} .... the what?  
  
{Midvalley} Nothing, nothing.  
  
{Zazie} Relma! *glomps Dominique's head, tears steaming down his cheeks* I ras rared.  
  
{Dominique} *pries him off forcibly* It's okay now, Zazie. Chapel, are you done eating over there? We have work to do.  
  
{Wolfwood} Like yeah, but I still can't find those damn condoms.  
  
{Midvalley} I'll help you look!  
  
{Legato} No. We're going to search for clues. Now we'll split up and look for them.  
  
{Wolfwood} Sure thing. Zaz and I will look in the kitchen.  
  
{Legato} Great. We'll go the library.  
  
{Dominique} Now wait a minute.... We were just in the library and they're _still_ here in the kitchen. If we didn't find anything just a moment ago, we won't now.  
  
{Wolfwood} And why do we have to split up? I'd gather be with a decent sized group than with just Zaz here -- no offense, old buddy -- if we run into any ghosts.  
  
{Legato} We'll cover more ground this way. Just scream like little girls if you find anything. Daphne, Velma, come on. We'll check upstairs. You two check outside. *the three leave*  
  
{Wolfwood} He gets the girls and we get to look for ghosts outside in the fog.... Somehow, it just doesn't seem right.  
  
*now outside, where the earlier heavy fog off of the road seems to have somehow manifested itself threefold, Wolfwood and Zazie sneak around on exaggerated tip toe*  
  
{Wolfwood} It's really hard to walk like this....  
  
{Zazie} Rou red it.  
  
{Wolfwood} [Speech impediment tapes, that's what he needs....]  
  
{Shadowy Figure} Hey!  
  
{Zazie} ROMMY!!!  
  
{Wolfwood} NO! Not agai--mmf!! Fumf.  
  
*the shadowy figure sweatdrops and steps out of the shadows, revealing itself to be, once again, Eriks. Not Vash**  
  
{Eriks} *helping pry the frightened Zazie off of Wolfwood's head* What're you two doing out here?  
  
{Wolfwood} I could ask you the same question!  
  
{Eriks} Then why don't you?  
  
{Wolfwood} .... Okay, what're you doing out here?  
  
{Eriks} I had a dream where Rem was singing to me.... Sound Life....  
  
{Wolfwood} *although he wasn't there when the gang discovered the book, he somehow knows the information in it anyways* Like, that's pretty weird, man. Is that some sort of omen then?  
  
{Eriks} No, I have that dream every night. And the sometimes during the day if I need advice or some random philosophical tidbit.  
  
{Wolfwood} *sweatdrops* Oh.... So.... wanna go have sex in the back of the Millions Machine?  
  
{Eriks} Dammit, I'm not a whore!  
  
{Wolfwood} Maybe you just need a career change.  
  
{Eriks} .....  
  
*suddenly, the air is pierced with "Soooo... Hitotsu-me no yoru ni, izuko kara koishi ga sekai ni ochiru. Sooo...." and so on. The three jump in surprise*  
  
{Wolfwood} T-T-That must be the ghost.... *pauses* You know, I expected her to have a better singing voice.  
  
{Eriks} Funny, it always sounded better in my dreams.  
  
{Wolfwood} Them's the breaks.  
  
*inside the house, a scowling Dominique is resting against one of the outside walls of the library, arms folded over her chest*  
  
{Dominique} Fred! Daphne! Stop 'exploring the library' and help me search for clues so we can end this nightmare already!  
  
{Midvalley} But I think my zipper's stuck....  
  
{Legato} You could just go around naked.  
  
{Midvalley} Maybe.  
  
{Dominique} NO!!  
  
*after that pointless break, the scene changes back outside, where Wolfwood, Zazie and Va--er, Eriks are all tip toeing about exaggeratedly again, following the sound of the singing and the occasional stream of red flower petals*  
  
{Eriks} How can you guys walk like this?!  
  
{Wolfwood} Sshh, you're breaking the dramatic tension.  
  
{Zazie} *eating the flower petals as they drift by* Rummy.  
  
{Wolfwood} Like, don't eat the ghost's props, man. You don't know where they've been.  
  
{Eriks} Hey, I think I see her!  
  
*the three peer around the side of the house to the back yard (how could Eriks see her through a wall? why does a whore house have a backyard? .... oh right, the hot tub. never mind the last question) where, bathed in that creepy moonlight, a thin young woman stands. She is wearing plain jeans and a white t-shirt and her dark hair blows in a wind that doesn't seem to be doing anything along the lines of getting rid of the still dense fog*  
  
{Wolfwood} So that's her?  
  
{Eriks} Looks like it.... wait a minute.... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! *goes sprinting towards the ghost, still shouting her name*  
  
{Wolfwood} .... Like, I thought most people were afraid of ghosts.  
  
{Zazie} Only rane ones.  
  
{Wolfwood} Amen to that.  
  
{Ghost of Rem} Sound liiiifeee... *vanishes in a cloud of red flower petals*  
  
{Eriks} Damn! She always does that.  
  
{Legato} *pops up out of nowhere with a scowling Dominique and slightly ruffled looking Midvalley. Zazie and Wolfwood yelp and jump into Eriks' arms in unison at their sudden appearance* Have you tried setting up a horribly elaborate trap that is likely to backfire?  
  
{Eriks} Well.... no.... and how do you trap a ghost?  
  
{Dominique} Jinkies, that's simple. She's not really a ghost.  
  
{Eriks} .... Rem's not really dead....?  
  
{Dominique} Of course she's still dead, you twit.  
  
{Eriks} *face falls* Oh.... then what do you mean?  
  
{Dominique} Go ahead and explain it, Fred.  
  
{Legato} You see, while Daphne and I were looking around the library again, we happened to discover a secret passage.  
  
{Wolfwood} I can tell you right now, man -- that 'passage' is no secret.  
  
{Midvalley} *red* Shut up, Chapel!  
  
{Legato} *unfazed by all of this* And of course, a spirit has no need for a secret passage. So the most likely answer is, someone dressed up as the ghost of a long dead woman to scare away the whores because there's gold buried under the house.  
  
{Zazie} Rold?  
  
{Dominique} Hey, gold was the best explanation we could come up with.  
  
{Midvalley} Unless they're just a whore hater.  
  
*suddenly, Sound Life starts up again, and there again is the ghost of Rem, only a few feet away from the gang. Her eyes are covered by dark bangs*  
  
{Zazie} ROST!!  
  
{Midvalley} RUN!  
  
{Dominique} What the hell are you talking about?! There's six of us and one of her -- she's not even armed it looks like --, so we could easily--hey! My legs are moving by themselves?!  
  
{Eriks} Nooo! Reeeemmm!!  
  
{Legato} Shut up and run.  
  
*the gang and Eriks proceeds to run screaming away from Rem while some cheery seventies pop tune plays in the background. Rem walks after them, smiling and singing still*  
  
{Rem} Sound liiiife....  
  
{Group} AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!  
  
---  
  
- end chapter three  
  
dun dun DUN!!! What will happen to our heroes (?) next?! Find out in the next chapter of the always exciting, always corny, always bizarre -- Zazie-Doo!  
  
{Zazie} Zazie-Sazie-Dooooo!!  
  
{Leonof} *playing with hand-puppets that look suspiciously like the GHGs* ..... I'm sorry, did I have a line here? 


	4. Evil Chuckles and Disembodied Heads

  
*and it continues still! -- the gang is busy running like mad, thanks to Legato's mind control tricks, from the calmly walking and singing Rem. Despite the fact that the group is almost sprinting, they are never able to get more than twenty feet away from her. Weird that*  
  
{Dominique} I'm telling you, we should just all jump her right now!  
  
{Midvalley} Jeepers, running is really painful right now....  
  
{Eriks} .....  
  
{Midvalley} Because of the shoes! The shoes!  
  
{Zazie} Reah right.  
  
*they all go running inside of the whore house, -- Wolfwood and Zazie manage to break away long enough to barricade the front door with at least ten different pieces of furniture before joining the group again -- through the library and into the hidden hallway Legato and Midvalley had somehow found before. They stop once inside, panting*  
  
{Wolfwood} Like, I think we lost her.  
  
{Eriks} I hope s--wait, no I don't! REEEEE--*gets a hand clasped over his mouth by Wolfwood*  
  
{Wolfwood} Sshh!! You don't want to bring her in here, do you?!  
  
*Eriks nods and Wolfwood sweatdrops*  
  
{Legato} It seems we've stumbled into the ghost's lair.   
  
*he motions around and the gang turns, noticing then a Porta Plant, about five giant bags all labeled '100% Pure Red Geranium Petals', some large fans and lyric sheets to 'Sound Life'*  
  
{Wolfwood} Zoinks.  
  
{Midvalley} Why the hell would anyone need that many flower petals?  
  
{Dominique} I don't know, Daphne. But there is a way we can find out.  
  
{Legato} Split up and search for clues?  
  
{Dominique} *nods* Right.  
  
{Eriks} Didn't we just do that?!  
  
{Legato} Not in here. Eriks, Chapel, Zazie; you three go over to that dark corner where we won't be able to see you. We'll look around here.  
  
{Eriks} Whatever happened to the 'trapping the ghost' idea?  
  
{Legato} We'll get to that later.  
  
{Eriks} But... but... you already know she's not really a ghost, we're in her little secret hidey-hole here where we know she'll probably come back to... so why don't we just set up the trap now?  
  
{Legato} Later, I said. Now go.  
  
*Eriks, Wolfwood and Zazie are all forcibly marched off to their dark corner*  
  
{Wolfwood} This sucks, man.  
  
{Zazie} Rou red it.  
  
{Eriks} Why the hell does he talk like that?  
  
*elsewhere....*  
  
{Rem} *evil chuckle* I almost have him....  
  
{Mysterious Shadowy Figure Who's Not Eriks Who in Turn is Not Vash} Hai! This plan is perfect!  
  
{Rem} It is, isn't it?  
  
{Mysterious Shadowy Figure Who's Not Eriks Who in Turn is Not Vash} Definitely!  
  
{Rem} Hmf hmf hmf.... I shall have you one way or another.... Vash the Stampede.  
  
*back with the group again, Eriks sneezes*  
  
{Wolfwood} Bless you.  
  
{Eriks} Thanks. Hey, what's that?  
  
{Wolfwood} Like, it looks like just a mysterious old trunk to me.  
  
{Zazie} Reepy.  
  
{Eriks} What?  
  
{Wolfwood} 'Creepy'.  
  
{Eriks} Oh. Let's open it!  
  
{Wolfwood} No way! What if there's a ghost or a disembodied head in there? Or a bunch of spiders?  
  
{Eriks} I _like_ spiders! *pauses* But not disembodied heads. Or most ghosts. Or hot dogs for that matter. But we won't know unless we look! *he opens the trunk, revealing a single piece of paper* .... Now that's just a waste of space.  
  
{Wolfwood} It looks like a receipt. *he picks it up out of the trunk and reads it aloud* 'BDN's Wig Rentals : One Rem Saverem'.  
  
{Eriks} I guess this means she really isn't a ghost, like Fred said.  
  
{Zazie} Rost?!  
  
{Eriks} Isn't, isn't! .... oh great, now I'm starting to understand him. I must be going crazy.  
  
{Zazie} Rehehehehehe!  
  
*with the other three, there seems to be a problem with something in the script*  
  
{Legato} Do it.  
  
{Dominique} But it's so stupid....  
  
{Legato} It's in the script and thusly His will. You will obey.  
  
{Dominique} But.... *long suffering sigh* Fine. *she turns and points to what looks like a solid iron rectangular room with a single door. There seem to be no windows or other means of escape other than the one heavy door* Hey, we haven't looked in there for clues yet!  
  
{Midvalley} Golly, you're right!  
  
*Legato, Dominique and Midvalley go running inside the iron room. Once they are all inside, the door slams shut, locking them inside*  
  
{Dominique} Jeepers, that was unexpected. [I'm starting to buy into all this "life is hell" crap... really, someone kill me now.]  
  
{Legato} [After this is over, I'll consider it.]  
  
{Dominique} [.....]   
  
{Midvalley} You know, it's really stuffy in here....  
  
{Dominique} .... dammit, don't you two start anything! I'm still in here! Hey! HEY!! Stop it! *bangs on the door* Someone! HELP! HELP!!  
  
*someone has apparently heard Dominique's pleas for help.... a trap door opens suddenly from the ceiling of the room and a long rope ladder is hung down, much to Legato and Midvalley's disappointment*  
  
{Legato} Now we can search for more clues.  
  
*well maybe only Midvalley's. The three climb out of the room to it's little iron roof and down it's little iron side. It seems the entire room was just a huge box with a door placed randomly inside the ghost's lair*  
  
{Midvalley} Well that was pointless.  
  
*back in the dark corner...*  
  
{Eriks} Did you hear someone scream just a moment ago?  
  
{Wolfwood} It's probably just Daphne.  
  
*suddenly, the air is pierced with "Soooo.... Mitsu-me no yoru ni...."*  
  
{Wolfwood} .... I think it's time to run again. *Zazie nods in agreement*  
  
{Eriks} Do we have to?  
  
{Wolfwood} It's this or getting forced to do it by Legato so--  
  
{Eriks} So there's really no choice.  
  
{Wolfwood} You catch on quick.  
  
*they run screaming to the other three*  
  
{Wolfwood and Eriks} GHOST!!  
  
{Zazie} ROST!!  
  
{Eriks} Roast?  
  
{Wolfwood} Ghost.  
  
{Eriks} Oh.  
  
{Legato} Did you find any clues?  
  
{Wolfwood} Now isn't the time for that! That creepy singing has started up again!  
  
{Midvalley} Another chase scene?! Oh man....  
  
{Zazie} Ray!  
  
{Wolfwood} *sigh* All we found was a wig receipt anyways.  
  
{Dominique} *snaps her fingers* Jinkies, then I've got it! The key to this mystery!  
  
{Legato} Which means....  
  
{Eriks} Which means?  
  
{Dominique} It be ghost trapping time, ya'll. Now come on, here's the plan.... *they form a little huddle, whispering*  
  
{Off Screen Voice of Rem} Nami no ko o kishibe ni shibuki o ageru.... Sound liiife....  
  
---  
  
- end chapter four  
  
dun dun DUN!!! What will happen to our heroes (?) next?! Find out in the next chapter of the always exciting, always corny, always bizarre -- Zazie-Doo!  
  
{Zazie} Zazie-Sazie-Dooooo!!  
  
{Gray the Ninelives} ..................  
  
By the way, the little bit about the solid iron room actually did happen in a Scooby Doo episode where Fred, Velma and Daphne all went charging into one looking for clues (they were then locked in by the Ghost of the Day. What a surprise). Really, who the hell goes into what's basically a big iron box looking for clues instead of looking around where all the evidence seems to be? So I added that in just because. 


	5. Bible Thumping and Secrets Revealed

"I know you really want it cuz your daddy's always on it and he knows just how to flaunt it he got pictures in his wallet and he wanna be your lover cuz you look just like my mother does he cover you like butter and just leave you in the gutter? I wanna know if I'm worth your time. There's so much to do before you die. Thursday night I think I'm pregnant again. Touch my ass if you qualify."  
  
-- These lyrics are from the Beck tune 'Get Real Paid'. It has nothing to do with this chapter other than the fact it was on repeat while I wrote most of this and I felt like sharing ^_^  
  
---  
  
*and it's still going! for the moment! -- the group has broken their little huddle and Dominique just finished explaining the plan*  
  
{Dominique} Does everyone know what to do?  
  
*everyone nods*  
  
{Wolfwood} One question though.  
  
{Dominique} Yeah?  
  
{Wolfwood} Why the hell are Zazie and I the bait?!  
  
{Dominique} You're the fastest runners.  
  
{Zazie} Rar not.  
  
{Midvalley} Come on Zazie, you have to! *pulls a little cereal-type box out of who knows where* Will you do it for a Zazie Snack?  
  
{Zazie} Ro way.  
  
{Midvalley} _Two_ Zazie Snacks?  
  
{Zazie} .... Rokay!  
  
*Midvalley tosses Zazie two sand-worm shaped cookies, which he catches in his mouth*  
  
{Zazie} Ret's ro! *he dashes off with Wolfwood following*  
  
{Dominique} [I still don't see why we have to act so afraid of a not-quite-ghost of an utter pacifist who's been dead over 100 years....] Alright, everyone else get in your places!  
  
*the group scatters, everyone heading to their hiding places. Back in the living room from earlier, the ghost of Rem steps inside, coming into the room through yet another secret-type entrance. She hums Sound Life quietly and appears to be looking around, though it's difficult to tell due to her eyes still being conveniently obscured by her bangs*  
  
{Rem} *still humming quietly* Vaaaash....  
  
*under one of the recliners in the living room, two pairs of eyes watch the 'ghost' as she looks about. How a grown man and a.... ..... dog? kid? kid in a dog suit? can fit under one is yet another mystery to add to the growing pile*  
  
{Wolfwood} *whispering* Zoinks, like, that's her.  
  
{Zazie} *also whispering* Reah reah.  
  
{Wolfwood} *still whispering* You remember the plan right?  
  
{Zazie} .....  
  
{Wolfwood} ..... *whispering still* Right?  
  
{Zazie} *again also whi--oh forget it, you get the point* Uh... right! Reheheheh!  
  
{Rem} *pauses in her glances around the room and picking up of sofa cushions* I thought I heard a cute, silly laugh....  
  
{Wolfwood} Now you've done it.  
  
{Zazie} Ssshhh! .... Cute?  
  
{Rem} Such a darling little sound....  
  
{Zazie} Rarling?  
  
{Wolfwood} It's a trap, man! Don't give into the womanly charms! 'sides, aren't you a little young for that yet?  
  
{Rem} Now if only I knew who could produce such an adorable laugh.... They must be a sweet and wonderful person who I'd love forever....  
  
{Zazie} *pops up out of his hiding place* Really?!  
  
{Rem} *very evil, very un-Remish grin* Gotcha.  
  
{Zazie} .... Rhit.  
  
{Wolfwood} *siiigh* Cue the music.  
  
*'Cheers!' starts to play loudly in the background as Wolfwood and Zazie scramble about the living room, Rem watching them amusedly. The pair continue to panic, for no apparent reason, before running into the library. Rem follows, having started up her humming again*  
  
{Wolfwood} Zaz, do you remember the right book to take off the shelf to open the secret hallway?  
  
{Zazie} Uh... ris one? *he pulls a book off the shelf and they pause for a long moment*  
  
*nothing happens*  
  
{Wolfwood} Maybe it was this one. *removes another book from the shelf and they wait*  
  
*again, nothing happens*  
  
{Rem} *getting closer, -- she's taking her damn sweet time in just walking over to the library -- almost to the doorway* Sound liiife....  
  
{Zazie} *sweating and nervous* R-Raphel....  
  
{Wolfwood} I know, I know! Um.... *he thinks for a moment before clasping his hands together* Okay God, I know I'm not much of a priest, but if you help me out just this once I promise to stop having impure thoughts about Vash and trying to convince Milly to strip, okay? Okay! *he closes his eyes and blindly reaches for a book, tugging it off the shelf*  
  
*the two guys wait, holding their breath*  
  
{Rem} *in the doorway* Found you! *heart*  
  
{Wolfwood} .... okay, screw Fred's plan. Let's just start chucking books at the ghost chick. Some of these look pretty heavy anyways.  
  
{Zazie} Is that really okay?  
  
{Wolfwood} .... the miracle I prayed for seems to have affected your speech instead of the books.  
  
{Zazie} Actually I just finally swallowed my taffy.  
  
{Wolfwood} You had food and didn't share?! What kind of man's best friend are you?!  
  
{Rem} Excuse me, guys...?  
  
{Wolfwood} *looks back to Rem* Oh right. *picks up a good, thick book -- which just happens to be the Bible*  
  
{Zazie} You're going to peg her with the Bible?!  
  
{Wolfwood} Dam--*realizes he's still holding the Bible*--uh, darn right! *he chucks the book at Rem*  
  
*Rem, not expecting a priest to toss a Bible at her stands there in shock before getting pegged squarely in the head*  
  
{Rem} Ow, that hurt!  
  
{Wolfwood} Priest 1; Ghost 0!  
  
{Zazie} Maybe you should've studied exorcism.  
  
{Wolfwood} *sweatdrops* How come you're suddenly smarter now too?  
  
{Zazie} Fred is using up most of his control to prevent Eriks from barreling in here and throttling you for hurting Rem, so I've got most control of my body back.  
  
{Wolfwood} Crazy, man.  
  
{Rem} Oww....  
  
{Wolfwood} You're still here?!  
  
{Rem} Obviously, you weird priest.  
  
{Wolfwood} Damn. *he picks up another book to throw at her and as it's lifted from the shelf, the wall rotates, revealing the secret hallway*  
  
{Zazie} *blinks* ..... run?  
  
{Wolfwood} ..... run.  
  
*and run they do*  
  
{Rem} *stands wobbily, picking up the Bible and glaring after Wolfwood as he flees* I think it's Bible thumpin' time....  
  
*in the secret lair, Eriks and Legato are hiding behind the bags full of petals while Dominique and Midvalley are perched on either side of the entrance way, standing on a pair of those large fans. They are holding a weighted net they managed to somehow find in a whore house*  
  
{Midvalley} I think I hear someone coming!  
  
{Dominique} Get ready!  
  
*a shadowy pair comes barreling out of the hallway. At Legato's signal, Midvalley and Dominique drop the net, which falls neatly on the pair*  
  
{Legato} Got 'em.  
  
{Midvalley} Alright!  
  
{Dominique} Jinkies.  
  
{Eriks} Funny, Rem looks a lot like that priest.  
  
{Wolfwood} *struggling in net with Zazie* Because I AM that priest!  
  
{Eriks} Huh.... then how did you manage to be Rem too?  
  
{Wolfwood} I'm not the Rem-wanna-be!! But she IS coming so let us out of this thing!  
  
{Dominique} Alright already, calm down! *Legato and her manage to free Wolfwood and Zazie* Now what did you mean she's coming?  
  
{Wolfwood} I mean she's--  
  
{Rem} *in the door way, with the Bible, grinning* Already here.  
  
{Wolfwood and Zazie} AHHH!!  
  
{Rem} Heh heh heh.... you didn't really think you'd be able to escape me, did you? Hmph. *she turns to Eriks* And you.... so long you've been running from me.... but now I've finally found you.... Vash the Stampede.  
  
{Gung-ho-Guns in unison} VASH THE STAMPEDE?!?!  
  
{Eri--uh, Vash} Oh man....  
  
{Legato} *sadistic glint in eye* Heheheh.... Well then.... as long as you're here.... KILL HI--*he pauses as Midvalley quietly holds up a copy of volume three of the Trigun manga* .... Suffer. You will suffer. Not be killed. Suffer.  
  
{Wolfwood} I knew you looked familiar.  
  
{Vash} *sheepish* Well you know.... I just wanted to lead a peaceful life....  
  
{Wolfwood} With a bunch of whores?  
  
{Vash} Basically.  
  
{Rem} Um, excuse me? I'm still here you know....  
  
{Vash} Yes, girl-who-is-obviously-not-Rem?  
  
{Rem} *erk* You mean.... you don't think I'm the ghost of the woman you once loved?  
  
{Vash} Your singing needs work and I don't remember Rem ever grinning, laughing or doing.... well, anything evilly.  
  
{Rem} Oh.... Damn! *she chucks the Bible at Wolfwood and flees*  
  
{Wolfwood} GAH! *gets smacked in the head with the Bible and falls back against the floor, bleeding lightly* .... I wonder if this is what they call karma.  
  
{Vash} I think it's something else....  
  
{Legato} After her! *Midvalley, Dominique, Legato and Zazie all head after the escaping Rem*  
  
{Vash} Hey, wait up! *he looks at the slightly swirly eyed Wolfwood and sighs before flinging him up over a shoulder and running after the rest of the group*  
  
*they don't have to run far however -- it seems that Rem has slipped on a bottle of lotion left on the floor of the library (refer back to chapter three for how a bottle of lotion got in the library) and is now sliding while screaming and waving her arms*  
  
{Rem} AIEEEEE!!!  
  
{Legato} So that's where I left it.  
  
{Rem} AIEEEE--*smashes into a bookcase and gets promptly buried in books up to her neck* ..... ee.  
  
{Dominique} We got her!  
  
{Midvalley} Wow, your plan worked perfectly, Velma!  
  
{Dominique} Of course!  
  
{Vash} *setting the recovering Wolfwood down* I hope she's not hurt too badly....  
  
{Legato} Now to see who 'Rem' _really_ is.... *he stalks over and pulls the wig off, revealing --*  
  
{Vash and Wolfwood in unison} AAAAAHHHH!!! THE INSURANCE GIRL!?!  
  
{Meryl} Itai....  
  
{Zazie} That explains the violence.  
  
{Mysterious Shadowy Figure Who's Not Eriks Who in Turn is Not Vash.... no wait, yes he is} Sempai! Are you okay?! *Mysterious Shadowy Figure steps out from behind another bookcase, revealing itself to be Milly*  
  
{Meryl} *sighs* I'm okay, Milly.  
  
{Wolfwood} Oi, it's the big girl too!  
  
{Dominique} She must've been the one who saved me from witnessing something.... unpleasant earlier.  
  
{Milly} *brightly* Hai!  
  
{Vash} What were you doing?! Who do you think you are impersonating Rem?!  
  
{Meryl} *blushes a little* Well... you see... that is....  
  
{Vash} ....?  
  
{Meryl} Uh.... I-It's just for our job, that's it! To keep an eye on you! That's all! Ahahahahah ha ha ha....  
  
{Midvalley} Strange girl.  
  
{Wolfwood} With a bad singing voice.  
  
{Meryl} *vein pop* YOU!  
  
{Wolfwood} Eh heh.... Good throwing arm though!  
  
{Meryl} Hmph.  
  
{Legato} Well, now that this is all resolved, I suppose we can leave.  
  
{Zazie} Finally.  
  
{Legato} Although Daphne and I have to explore the second floor first.  
  
{Meryl} *sweatdrops* Perverts.  
  
{Dominique} Definitely.  
  
{Milly} Have a good time! Don't get lost! *she waves brightly as Legato drags Midvalley off*  
  
{Meryl} Milly, could you help me out of these books now...?  
  
{Milly} AH! Hai Sempai! *she unburies Meryl who sighs again before noticing Vash and Wolfwood sneaking off*  
  
{Meryl} Hey! Where do you think you're going?!  
  
{Wolfwood} We're.... going to screw like rabbits in the back of the Millions Machine?  
  
{Meryl} .... eh?  
  
{Vash} You're not going to follow me there, are you?  
  
{Meryl} *bright red* Of course not!!  
  
{Vash} Great! Then let's go! *he picks Wolfwood up again and prances off*  
  
{Zazie} *eyes the storm clouds gathering over Meryl's head* ..... I'll just go finish off those cherries in the kitchen. Zazie-Sazie-Dooooo!! *he scurries away*  
  
{Dominique} *sighs and shakes her head* Men. Go figure.  
  
{Meryl} You said it. Stupid horny yaoi bastards. Honestly, I don't know why I even tried. *she folds her arms, scowling*  
  
*there's a long pause*  
  
{Dominique} So. Want to go have a threesome?  
  
{Meryl} .... um, I'm sorry.... but.... what did you just say?  
  
{Dominique} Come on. You, me and the big girl. It'll be fun.  
  
*there's an even longer pause*  
  
{Meryl} ....  
  
{Dominique} ....?  
  
{Meryl} .... Oh why the hell not. Probably be better than _that_ man anyways.  
  
{Milly} *beams and hugs Meryl* YAY!! I'll get the whipped cream!!  
  
*in the Millions Machine....*  
  
{Vash} *sneezes*  
  
{Wolfwood} Bless you.  
  
{Vash} Isn't that a little weird to say at a time like this....?  
  
{Wolfwood} I suppose, but I've never been a very good priest anyways.  
  
{Vash} You should consider a career change.  
  
{Wolfwood} To what?  
  
{Vash} Whore?  
  
*Wolfwood sweatdrops and the scene fades out to the end credits. The TV is then switched off*  
  
{Knives} Hm.... needs more cheese.  
  
---  
  
- end  
  
{Zazie} Really, that's it. You can leave now. 


	6. Author Notes and Legato Plushies

(This isn't an actual chapter -- this is just Joydrop rambling on about nothing. So you can feel free to skip it ^_^)  
  
This actually started off based on the 'Dover Demon' episode of Scooby-Doo, where the gang goes to visit Daphne's uncle. But I decided 'Rem Saverem' was better than 'Dover Demon' and Midvalley doesn't have an uncle -- he has whores. It ended up being a combination of different episodes and my own crackheadness (it's a word now, dammit) later though. Oh well.  
  
On another note for anyone curious, I hate Scooby-Doo. I totally and utterly despise the show. So why did I write a fic parodying it? Well, I'm on crack, desperate for ideas, and I usually end up watching it/staring blankly at the TV during my bouts of insomnia because nothing else but infomercials are on ("For only three payments of $19.95 you too can own 'Legato : The Soul Train Years' on high quality VHS!"). That and I like making fun of the things I abhor. I also make fun of the things I love (Knives-sama! Wolfwood!) but that's not the point. The point is why don't those damn kids figure out after 20 or so episodes that the evil ghost is really a stupid smuggler/bandit/random evil dude in an ugly costume? I mean, _every place they go_ that's 'haunted', turns out not to be. And yet they still run screaming when a cackling moron dressed as the Red Baron literally hops after them. And don't those villains feel like idiots? Growling and running around in a costume like that to scare people away from your sheep smuggling business? Yeesh. Some people have no pride.  
  
{Meryl} Shut up.  
  
On yet another note, I also don't approve of shotacon. It just ain't my bag baby. I stuck the references in after stumbling apon a rather... um... graphic MidvalleyxZazie site. Needless to say, I was scarred. So it got stuck in here too. Although I don't know why.  
  
Why the random yaoi? Why the random yuri? Because I can.  
  
HUAHAHAHAHAH*hackhack*AHAHAHAHAH!  
  
{Knives} *in Scooby pjs with a Legato/Fred plushie* This is by far the best piece of fiction you've written to date.  
  
....  
  
{Knives} What?  
  
.... you're just lucky I love you.  
  
{Knives} I'm thrilled beyond words.  
  
And big snuggly thanks and lots of love and peace to everyone who's reviewed this fic. Without your support, I would've nipped this insanity in the bud a long time ago and called it a day. And if you can get every weird Trigun _and_ Scooby reference/gag in this fic, then I'm afraid, quite frankly.  
  
.... wow this section of my notes is actually longer than most of my fics....  



End file.
